Every self-adoring, ego-centric chef needs an outlet. For most of us, that outlet comes in the form of drugs, alcohol, or sex...more often than not, it's some combination of those things all blended together in an X rated cocktail at the end of every shift. Why? Because whether we admit it or not, we are in the business of pleasure. Think about what you do when you taste something delicious for the first time. Your eyes roll into the back of your skull, you mutter some phrase similar to "oh my god yes", and you shutter, swerve and do all sorts of goofy orgasmic things. Everyone does it, even if it's just lustfully looking at the last piece of pizza. You just want that last piece so fucking bad that your willing to do terrible things to get it...we all do it, don't deny it, and don't act surprised to find out we all know whats going through your head. Try being around that type of behavior all day and then tell me you don't need something to take the edge off after twelve hours of food-gasms.
For those of us who escape this all day food orgy with little to no bad habits, we usually over-compensate with good ones. We all know a chef who either works out too much, or has to clean their knife 37 times because their OCD wont allow them to put it away until you reach that magic number. Or chefs who wont eat certain foods because they're unhealthy *which is bull shit, just shut the hell up and eat it* and chefs who regularly check their image in the mirror. Then there is the chef who always knows what flavors work well, and feels the need to add some ridiculously expensive ingredient to your well thought out and balanced dish, you know, just to fancy it up a little. We ALL know one of the above, and most of us all fit into one of these categories. But there is one more category, one more "habit" that envelops a chef. It usually doesn't happen until that particular chef has reached some tenure if you will, in the business. THIS "habit", usually is brought on by some need to satisfy that gap...where drugs and sex and alcohol can't reach after too much has been ingested. And only self-satisfied, pretentious, egotistical ass-holes do this "habit". This "habit", is the feeling that you NEED to tell people about your experiences through the vehicle of writing.
Luckily for me, I'm not anything I mentioned above... *cough cough*
My intent is to entertain... Please enjoy my future ramblings, and feel free to leave comments and suggestions...but if you happen to not like this, then fuck off. I'm just trying to satisfy myself after a long day of peaking on pancetta.
